Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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