Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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