i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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