that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
