Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We need to get me chipped asap
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
