batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize