Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
