I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
