At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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