Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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