Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
