people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
