Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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