Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
