what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
