if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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