Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
