But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
