Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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