"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
