I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
