Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
