Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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