I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
