We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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