And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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