I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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