I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
