I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
