I got chris browned last night
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
