I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
