It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize