i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
