The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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