i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
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