I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
