we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Go christen that room with your naked body.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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