Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
