Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize