Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
