I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
