My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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