she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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