Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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