He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
