Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
