I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
