Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
