I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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