You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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