So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
