saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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