she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
