Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
