Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
