her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
