Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He better not be in your backpack
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
