You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
