that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize