I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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