i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
