Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
