READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
