Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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